Friday, August 5, 2011

THE DEBT CEILING PRAYER (with all due homage to Mark Twain)

It was reported a number of regressive Republican members of the House of Representatives retreated to the quiet confines of the House chapel to ask for divine guidance on how to vote on the upcoming debt-ceiling issue. A "highly" placed source has shed some golden light on the content of their prayer.

Heavenly Father we humbly gather here to ask You to give us the wisdom and courage to make the right decision on raising the debt ceiling. Oh great God, steel us and give us a way to preserve the wealth and power of our "job creator" supporters. Help us to beat back the Obama-led hordes jealously trying to undo Your will.

Eternal Triune God, we know those who have been blessed with success and power enjoy your approval. The most successful have taken advantage of all You have given them. They do Your will every day when they collateralize debt, monetize opportunities and securitize negotiable bonds. Their continued wealth is proof of how much You love them and how much You love and care for the United States of America. Now, however, there are dark and sinister forces trying to destroy Your kingdom. They do the "evil one's" bidding as they press for socialistic taxation and communistic equitable distribution of wealth and they spread the heresy of a rising tide which can lift all boats.

Blessed Lord, show us the way to defeat those who reward the weak and lazy, slow and plodding, those who have not been in your favor, and instead find themselves at the lowest rungs of the economic ladder because they refuse to acknowledge Your preference for a free, unregulated economy. Oh Great Protector, show us how to live up to your Son's command to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. Help us to maintain the world in which Jesus admitted the poor will always be with us and help us oppose the devil's henchmen who hide behind programs to educate everyone, aid the poor, clothe the naked and feed the hungry knowing full well those are the very people You do not love and care for or they would be like us.

We face difficult decisions in the House where our opponents are led by a female Papist, and who want to tear down all you have accomplished in gated communities throughout this great land.

Oh Comforter, to Thee we cry...we know you agree Social Security, Medicare and all these other "social programs" are intended to thwart Your will and the natural order You have established on earth. We know you will reward us for protecting those who made this country great by following Your will against those who want to tear it down by advocating for the great unwashed. Please give us the grace to cut spending and end give-aways. Help us to vanquish all who would take from your favorites to help those who refuse to help themselves. We know Your Son would never be in favor of their efforts. Remember the rich young man who refused to sell all he had and follow Your Son? We are sure he went on to own more crops and property and have more slaves and workers for his vineyards just as You would want. Help us to make as courageous a decision as he did.

Thank You, gracious God, for listening to our prayer and guiding us to keep America the greatest, most blessed nation on earth for those who have the wealth to enjoy its bounty.

We ask this through Your Son Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, One God forever and ever.... AMEN

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