Monday, June 13, 2011


Answer: The elites in Washington and the lame-stream media tried to shove their views down the throats of average, God-fearing Americans in order to destroy the right of the citizenry to do whatever they want with their own personal property.

QUESTION: What did Sarah Palin say when asked to explain the Civil War?

Answer: Yes, we did have other leaks and yes, we can't find any records we ever tested the pipes, but it isn't like anyone thought the problem was dangerous.

QUESTION: How did PG&E react to news they had gas pipe leaks in the area near San Bruno and they didn’t tell anyone?

Answer: We demanded longer sentences, refused to build more facilities, provided sub-standard medical and mental health care, and built a system resembling a Soviet gulag...picky, picky, picky.

QUESTION: How did California officials respond to the Supreme Court saying the prison system violates the 8th amendment protection against cruel and unusual punishment?

Answer: Paul Ryan is a Democratic party stealth weapon designed to insure the re-election of President Obama by making it look like Republicans want to end Medicare as we know it and throw the elderly to the wolves.

QUESTION: What did the chair of the Republican National Committee say after the GOP lost a special congressional election in upstate New York in a district which has always voted Republican?

Answer: You need a good pair of garden sheers.

QUESTION: What did Hillary Clinton say to Rep. Anthony Weiner's wife when asked for advice about his sexting activities?

Answer: W.W.J.D.

QUESTION: How did the Archbishop of San Francisco respond to voters putting a proposition on the ballot outlawing circumcision?

Answer: It's going very well. I'm here because it's so difficult to deal with the constant demand for autographs and pictures from my devoted fans and followers.

QUESTION: What did Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi say from his underground bunker about how the war is progressing?

Answer: I am a man of humble beginnings, an army brat, who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and I am the perfect person to identify with the struggles and difficulties facing average Americans in this terrible economy (plus my third wife loves bling).

QUESTION: What is Newt Gingrich's new campaign pitch after it was revealed he had a $500,000 tab at Tiffany’s?

Answer: Yes, they are last in health care spending, second to last in education spending, execute more people than any other state, are anti-choice, bring guns to church and don't want Martin Luther King or Caesar Chavez in their history books, but the business community loves them and we could learn a lot from them here in California.

QUESTION: What is the sound of Gavin Newsom selling out by praising the way Texas treats its corporations?

Answer: We brought it on ourselves. Yes, we were greedy, rapacious and didn't care about the consequences. Yes, we played both sides so we made money even if the economy tanked. Yes, we were all too big to fail, and yes, our largest shareholder is now the American taxpayer...Your point is?

QUESTION: What did a spokesman for GMAC say when asked about reports the company is engaging in bait and switch and other illegal tactics to kick Americans out of their homes and have taxpayers pay them to foreclose?

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